edugain policy comments

[Thomas Lenggenhager <lenggenhager AT switch.ch>]

Here my comments on the draft Metadata Terms of Access and Use from 1
July 2010.

Regards,
Thomas


line 653:
Shouldn't You always, also further down in the text, use a capital Y?
Now it is mostly in lower case with one or two exceptions.


line 674-676:
> You will immediately remove the Metadata from your systems and 
> destroy all copies of the Metadata upon notification from us if You 
> are in breach of, or we reasonably suspect you to be in breach of, 
> these Terms.

The 'us' on line 675 is not clear who that is. The Registrar or the
Signer or both?


line 688-692:
This is pretty hard to read and understand. In German, such a long
sentence would not be unusual, but in English it is well above the
average...
Any chance for an easier to grasp wording?
> If you have a direct agreement with the Signer, then in the event of
> any conflict or inconsistency between these Terms and that agreement,
> then in so far as that agreement concerns the rights and liabilities
> between you and the Signer, that agreement shall take precedence over
> these Terms to the extent necessary to resolve such conflict or
> inconsistency. In any other case, the provisions of these Terms shall
> take precedence and prevail.


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Thomas Lenggenhager
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